Sound the alarm

It is imprinted in my brain that if I see the enemy coming and don’t sound the alarm to warn the others, than I am no better than the enemy.

I receive a lot of messages. It is a very interesting process that starts with what seems to be a thought planted in my head. I always recognize it as something foreign and then I usually write it down along with any other thoughts that immediately follow it. It doesn’t usually make sense right away… but this morning it did.

Usually I have to piece a puzzle together about who the message is for and why, but the crazy thing is – that I always do. I’ve come to really appreciate the situation for what it’s worth and it has been helpful a time or two.

Back to this morning. Barely stepped into the shower and I heard very clearly, “He’s coming.”

God was my first thought, but I immediately knew that that was wrong. My next thought was actually the opposite. “He,” meaning the darkness himself.

My discernment meter told me that this was correct and I tried not to be affected by the message… but I was. I don’t fear much after all I’ve been through and death is not the scariest thing to me. But the thought of him coming made me… uneasy, to say the least.

The rest of the message was about preparing and protecting yourself and the last part, I knew, was personal. It was about closing off the “portal” or “gate” to the other realm – because that’s how he and the rest of the darkness, would enter.

I’ve felt that one of my spiritual “jobs”, if you will, while I’m here is being a gate keeper to a portal that allows movement through dimensions or realms. My spirit does the work of deciding who goes where without me being much the wiser.

However, with the portal needing to be shut, I must now be the wiser.

I also feel that it is my obligation to pass on information and from there – it’s up to the individual who receives it to decide what to do with it. Some of you will hear this message with your subconscious and your spirit will react accordingly.

So consider this the alarm being sounded. Whether this will turn out to be metaphorical, a personal issue or otherwise, I do not know. But I figure it’s better to be safe then sorry.

I am by NO means any sort of prophet. Nor do I claim to be. Nor would I want to be. I am only acting as a ‘messenger’ and I would advise every single person to use their own judgement and discernment when reading my, or anyone else’s, opinions.

I’m not trying to induce a state of widespread panic either.

All I can say is, that I take this as a warning that the darkness is coming worse than usual and that the need for your inner light in this situation is absolute. Please just prepare, protect and shine the light. I figure that’s good advice – regardless of whether anything is coming or not.

Therapy

This one’s going to be rough, excuse me while I use my blog as more of a “therapy” instrument than usual.

We’re coming up on some big numbers for me. I just passed the 1 year mark of me choosing sobriety – again – and I’ve done really, really well… minus one bump in the road.

Regardless of the bump, I’ve decided not to discount the days sober over the mess up because that’s not right. I’m giving myself credit where it is due. And for an addict – every second counts.

My youngest son turns 20 on the 9th of April, so that’s a big deal. All of my children are going to be in their 20’s. Life is extraordinary.

The 15th of April would mark the 20th wedding anniversary for Lee and me… had we stayed married. He divorced me in 2013 when I was in prison and that was probably one of the saddest things in my life.

We are dating again and when I tell people, they always smile and say things like, “I love that story!” or “Good for you guys!

But it hurts my heart every single time. Which is why, if I don’t feel like explaining, I just call him “husband” and he calls me “wife.” He doesn’t like to discuss the married, not married thing and says, “We might as well be.” I say, “Sure, sure.”

Does it matter in the scheme of things? The IRS says yes. God says yes, according to some sources. But these days the answer is usually no. I’ll let you decide for yourself.

It’s also the anniversary of the day that I believe I was with a young man in spirit when he died and crossed over. It is something that will never leave me. I count that as my near death experience because not only did I think I was dying but I believe that I experienced what it feels like to take the first step into “heaven” and also let go of the weight of the world to do so.

Speaking of weight, I feel as though I just let go of some and feel better.

I convinced Lee to do a 6 week challenge with me through crossfit and we started yesterday so maybe the word “weight” won’t be so touchy for me soon… maybe.

And, oh my, what bizarre dreams and visions I’ve had lately! I see a black hole when I close my eyes recently, that sometimes turns red… there’s a meaning, metaphor or something in that as well.

So, what do I owe you? And, thank you doctor. ūüėČ

Photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/clouds-country-dawn-dock-533953/

Dreams of Rapture

I was standing outside with my daughter Kaya and her step sister. I noticed the beautiful white fluffy clouds and how many of them there were and how they appeared to be sitting perfectly on top of each other.

At the moment I’m not sure where we were but it was an outdoor event and there were a lot of people there.

All of the sudden the sky turned dark and the clouds black and they turned into a liquid, oily substance and started pouring out in mass quantities onto the earth.

People started running and panicking and then we were inside. I grabbed my phone and started trying to call Lee. I needed to touch base with him and make sure he was ok. He didn’t answer and I kept trying. To no evail.

Looking out of the windows I saw that out of the surface of the earth broke through a giant octopus type of creature with huge arms that had suction cups on the bottom of them and they would methodically reach down and pick up individuals by the top of the head and take them with as they rolled across the earth.

It hit me instantaneously that this was the historic even that I had been waiting for. The end times were here and the chosen people were being taken.

I tried to reach Lee one more time but the line was dead now and only had a busy signal.

I realized that I, more than anything, wanted to be grabbed by the suction cup and taken from the future that was now imminent and dark for this planet.

I ran back outside thinking my chances were better if I were more accessible but knew in my heart of hearts that if my name wasn’t already on the elusive list to be saved then it wasn’t going to happen.

I saw 1 in about every 100 people being grabbed up and started getting ready to accept that my fate was one of despair now and that the dark oily liquid pouring out from the skies was just the beginning of the troubles that humans left here would have to endure.

Just when I thought all hope was lost, I saw a massive arm coming down from the sky with such force that when it hit the ground directly in front of me it broke the concrete into pieces.

The suction cup end of the arm was facing downwards so I wasn’t taken up by the top of my head. The end of the arm came to a rounded point and it made a chair like shape.

Over filled with joy and relieved in every way possible, I knew this was my ride out. I walked over and stepped up onto the arm that was perfectly cupped to hold me and closed my eyes.

I immediately felt the sensation of being taken upwards at a rapid speed. A smile of epic proportions spread over my face as I awaited the time when I opened my eyes and saw my beautiful new future with massive purpose as the earth, all of its problems and my past, fell away.

Then I woke up.

I wonder if my dream version of the rapture is anything compared to what might possibly happen or if it truly is metaphorical. Regardless, it was one of the most interesting, vivid and lucid type of dreams that I’ve ever experienced.

I guess time will tell.

**Photo credit: treehugger.com

Purpose – Seeking answers, finding questions

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I’m still processing my experiences from this last week at the Kryon, Monument Valley Tour, and they were great, no doubt. However, for the most part I’m left with more questions than answers. And that seems to be the norm anymore. I go out seeking answers which I do not find. I do find way more questions.

I guess I should recognize by now that there are no answers, only choices. And there are no right or wrong choices – there is only the one you choose. And regardless of the outcome – it was exactly what you needed to experience at the time. Whether that be failure, success or otherwise.

I just keep waiting for an “A-ha” moment that honestly may never come. I thought if I would have had one anywhere, though, that it would be while I was among other people seeking higher vibrational existences. Now that I think about it further, if I did have one it would probably be somewhere way more random, like in the grocery store or something. And since I no longer go to the grocery store, I order on-line and they deliver, I’m probably the one keeping myself from having that moment.

Or maybe it truly never will. All I know is that I’ve had this awakening thing happen to me and it seemed so unique and amazing at the time and now my brain doesn’t even function the way that it used to. I can barely handle one task let alone multi-task, and that used to be my forte.

One great thing that did happen was that Lee ended up talking to a guy who was also a construction business owner who had awakened and had quite a unique experience himself and shared that with Lee.

Validation that I am not alone or nearly as crazy as I, and everyone else, thought is honestly priceless. It also poses more questions. If what I’ve gone through is real and other people are experiencing it, too… then, what now?

…to be continued… at an undetermined time.

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“Enjoy the show.” “You, too.”

I am gearing up to go to Monument Valley this next week. Kryon, one of my biggest mentors,¬†will be there along with about 80 other people. I literally cannot wait for all of the stupid things I’m about to say and do.

I am beyond awkward. My spiritual awakening hasn’t helped this, it may have actually contributed to it highly.

I am one of those people that go to the movies and when the ticket taker says “Enjoy the show.” My response is “You, too.” Now obviously I know that he is probably not grabbing popcorn and joining us for the movie, so why is that my response?

I literally cannot leave the house without an “incident” with another human. I always¬†say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. I guess that’s my “thing.” I don’t know why Lee or anyone continues to go out with me in public. It’s a train wreck situation, I guess,¬†and they just can’t look away.

Before I go anywhere or before anyone comes over to my house I mentally try and prepare myself for it by clearing my aura and deep breathing to relax. I envision myself being this calm, peaceful, quiet, intelligent being. Then people show up.

The harder I try not to trip myself up- the harder I fall. Every. Single. Time.

If anyone has advice or just needs¬†a laugh and wants¬†me to keep track of my amazingly awkward moments during¬†the trip, please let me know. Then at least they won’t be for nothing.

 
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