Therapy

This one’s going to be rough, excuse me while I use my blog as more of a “therapy” instrument than usual.

We’re coming up on some big numbers for me. I just passed the 1 year mark of me choosing sobriety – again – and I’ve done really, really well… minus one bump in the road.

Regardless of the bump, I’ve decided not to discount the days sober over the mess up because that’s not right. I’m giving myself credit where it is due. And for an addict – every second counts.

My youngest son turns 20 on the 9th of April, so that’s a big deal. All of my children are going to be in their 20’s. Life is extraordinary.

The 15th of April would mark the 20th wedding anniversary for Lee and me… had we stayed married. He divorced me in 2013 when I was in prison and that was probably one of the saddest things in my life.

We are dating again and when I tell people, they always smile and say things like, “I love that story!” or “Good for you guys!

But it hurts my heart every single time. Which is why, if I don’t feel like explaining, I just call him “husband” and he calls me “wife.” He doesn’t like to discuss the married, not married thing and says, “We might as well be.” I say, “Sure, sure.”

Does it matter in the scheme of things? The IRS says yes. God says yes, according to some sources. But these days the answer is usually no. I’ll let you decide for yourself.

It’s also the anniversary of the day that I believe I was with a young man in spirit when he died and crossed over. It is something that will never leave me. I count that as my near death experience because not only did I think I was dying but I believe that I experienced what it feels like to take the first step into “heaven” and also let go of the weight of the world to do so.

Speaking of weight, I feel as though I just let go of some and feel better.

I convinced Lee to do a 6 week challenge with me through crossfit and we started yesterday so maybe the word “weight” won’t be so touchy for me soon… maybe.

And, oh my, what bizarre dreams and visions I’ve had lately! I see a black hole when I close my eyes recently, that sometimes turns red… there’s a meaning, metaphor or something in that as well.

So, what do I owe you? And, thank you doctor. 😉

Photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/clouds-country-dawn-dock-533953/

Have no fear. New energy is here.

I feel that these recent energy waves, specifically one that came through yesterday are extremely significant. Since my awakening some words have taken on a whole new meaning or depth and the word significant is one of them.

Another is absolute. When I say that word it is because I believe that there are no 2 ways about something.

So here’s the thing: reality is changing as we know it. Some of you may not have experienced it yet – but be assured that eventually you absolutely will.

There are varying degrees of the energies activating around people and some are more extreme and obvious than others.

My house is always extremely “lit up” with energy and sensitives who come here can feel it before they even get here and extremely well when they are here.

It drains every battery in and around the house over and over including vehicles. Computers, cameras, phones and anything involving electricity seem to have a mind of their own.

My phone is affected the most with my pictures disappearing almost immediately after I take them and they have for over a year now. The picture will show up for about a half a second and then the colors of it will start sliding sideways on the screen and then it goes grey and you can’t see anything. I’ve changed out my phone 3 times trying to solve this and have finally come to accept it.

My television one day wanted to watch an episode of “Supernatural” while my daughter and I both tried to put on “Mulan” for my granddaughter. The channel would not change. We even turned it off and on again and both of us tried.

The tv has also turned itself on at 3 a.m. with the volume all the way up on an old scary movie.

There are orbs that can be seen on every camera and recording in and around my house.

There are cold spots in the house and times when the heater acts weird and also when my ears ring and buzz louder than usual. I also feel pressure on parts of my body that make no sense.

I’ve had weird things happening to my bank accounts (not good things unfortunately) and other accounts lately that concern me because that’s going too far. Lol. When I call with a problem to any of the companies I hear the same response “This is really weird.” Or “That’s never happened before.”

None of this is said to strike fear. It is meant to be a P.S.A.

It’s so that when things like I speak of happen to you – that you don’t panic or fear it. I went through a traumatic awakening that was the scariest thing I can imagine still to this day. The biggest reason being my lack of knowledge or understanding.

If you can hear and accept the fact that the world has shifted and that you are part of that shift, your transition will hopefully be better than mine.

It’s going to take some time for the full effect of what’s happening to take place and also knowledge of the what, where and why will become available. Until then, have no fear. New energy is here.

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The Demon Egg (Part 4 – the end)

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The clock on the nightstand read 4:02 am. Miraculously I had woken up screaming without making any sound, so I hadn’t woken Lee up. I noticed quickly that I had been sleeping with the egg in my hand and I was gripping it tightly.

As a habit I always checked the security cameras downstairs. The monitor for them was on the nightstand where I sat the egg after releasing it from my grip. Just as I looked up at the monitor I saw a dark figure walking through my kitchen.

Everything about what happened next makes zero sense. Never would I ever go to check on something scary myself. I always woke Lee up so the he could go check it out. Instead, not only did I not wake him up, I got up and walked downstairs in the dark to see who or what it was that I had just seen on the cameras.

Immediately I noticed that nobody was there. I did see headlights shining into the kitchen window from our driveway and I wondered who on earth was up, in the driveway, with headlights on at 4 am.

I opened the back door and noticed the lights were coming from the old truck my son had been borrowing that happened to have a massive exhaust leak and the truck was running and the windows were up. I tried to squint to see if anyone was in the truck and I couldn’t tell because the lights were in my eyes. I ran outside, no shoes, no coat, no LEE.

What had gotten into me? Regardless, as I approached the truck I noticed my son was in it slouched over, seemingly asleep with the engine running and the windows up. EXHAUST LEAK, EXHAUST LEAK, EXHAUST LEAK! My mind screamed as I struggled to open the door of the old rusty truck and when I did I yelled my son’s name and shook him furiously. Nothing.

Over and over I called his name and shook and shook and shook. After what seemed like a lifetime he finally came to, but he was groggy and confused as he’s ever been in his life.

He had come home late and forgot his key and instead of waking us up he stayed out in the truck and kept it running and “fell asleep hard”, he said, not realizing the fumes being released inside the truck running along with the windows being completely up – were a deadly combination.

He couldn’t even walk into the house by himself and I half carried him in and down to his room where I left him to sleep and I, still in shock and awe of everything that had just occurred, went into the office to try to process everything.

I watched the security video from the kitchen over and over and over again. The system was set up to record when it sensed movement. It started recording at about 4:02 am right as I was awoken from my dream. A dark woman like figure who resembled an angel with wings, some say looked pregnant even, had seemingly walked across my kitchen as if she had just come downstairs from my bedroom and was walking towards the back door where outside my son was passed out from exhaust fumes in the truck.

I had looked everywhere in the house and even around the yard. I even checked all of the other footage from the cameras and never was she seen coming or going in any other room.

I was not the only person who could see it, which baffled me to no end. Lately, in my nightmare lifestyle status, everything that I saw was mostly only visible to me.

I changed my opinion about the demon egg shortly after this. I recognized that all along I had assumed it was a scary, bad thing. What I came to believe was that it may have actually been sent to me to help me.

My oldest daughter Alisha told me a story shortly after about a television show that she had watched where a woman perceived something she saw in a creepy old mirror to be frightening and horrifying because the woman in the mirror always appeared to be screaming at her – but she couldn’t tell what she was saying. She was also covered in blood. Turns out the scary woman in the mirror ends up saving the lady who had been afraid of hers life when an intruder enters her house one night. The woman in the mirror was said to have reached out and grabbed the intruder and stopped him long enough for the woman to realize he was there and call the police. Supposedly, a true story.

True or not, it made me realize that what I see as terrifying, may very well be something that I just don’t understand yet. I changed my perception on not only the egg but on any future scary situation that arises. However, I still decided to leave the egg in the hands of my best friend for safe keeping… just in case.

He still has it to this day. I sometimes still feel the urge to go and get it from him, but then I remind myself that – that’s crazy… right?

I honestly believe that the angel woman who was somehow tied to the egg, helped save my sons life that night. Also, that the creation dream that I had that night formed the foundation for my new insight on how I see the earth and all of the inhabitants of it. I appreciate everything in life now with such a deeper understanding and to such a deeper degree. It changed everything for me.

I am truly, truly grateful for the experiences I have had. But they really have mirrored horror films at times. I’ve always thought the basis for horror films and novels must come from some place of truth, at least to some extent?

But I still don’t watch scary movies… because, why? I’m starring in one. 😉

Haunted and then some… Do you Believe?

 

These are some really great videos of our “haunted” house in Copperton, Utah.  It was at a time when massive amounts of paranormal activity was happening all around me. I, and everyone else, thought I might be going insane.

See if you can see Gene Simmons from “KISS”s head in my garbage can in the first video.

The second video, where you can see a moving big ball of yellow, orange and red, is what I believe to be pure energy. That occurred right before it seemingly broke off of the wall and a massive portal opened up releasing all kinds of spirit things.

These were some of the most frightening times of my life.

Ghosts truly are real. They are just different than what people perceive them to be. That’s how I feel.

How do you feel?? Do you believe?