Pseudo Kings – The answer to “Why don’t you do drugs?”

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Someone asked me the other day why I choose not to do drugs. That was a brilliant question

This is meant to be a P.S.A., btw.

Here are some truths that may trigger some and may enlighten others…

Selling drugs is like owning your own business. You’re a pseudo king and an entrepreneur, and people need you. You control how much you make and how much you spend and your product is always in demand. It’s a high in and of itself.

And drugs are mastered in a way to comfort and kill you all at the same time. I believe people are always searching for what it feels like on the other side because they miss that feeling, and drugs, initially, make you feel a similar type of euphoria. But not without a price.

I believe that this is why so many people who finally get out of the bullshit, drama of the drug life end up being successful as business owners.

Also, why so many people relapse back into it after choosing or being forced out of it.

My answer to the question of why I don’t do drugs had to be more than just the obvious “Because they’re bad,” because everyone knows that. Everyone knows that they take people from families and homes and lives from people. I tried to go deeper for an answer. And these answers are what I came up with.

One, I don’t want to sell drugs. And in order to pay for your own habit – I figured out years ago – you have to sell.

I got tired of seeing desperate faces who would do just about anything to get high. I got tired of some of the places you end up when buying or selling; they were sometimes dark in ways that would haunt you.

I got so tired of the demand and the excuses like when they told me they had the money before I got there and now that I’m there – they do not.

I got tired of everyone robbing everyone. It’s an every day occurrence. I got tired of people robbing me.

There are no real, true friends in the drug world. You literally can trust no one.

There is so much running around. It’s an endless cycle of hell. And it makes you the worst kind of tired and worn out.

The threat of prison, jail and death don’t even make some people bat an eye – but it’s a damn good reason not to for me. Those places are the most miserable places on earth.

I was tired of looking in the mirror and seeing unhealthy me and losing more of that natural glow and muscle mass.

I was tired of something controlling me to the point that I WAS willing to lose everything to keep doing it.

When you’re using – your energy changes and people can feel it. Even if they don’t realize you are using – they have a natural resistance to your energy. I hate that as well. People will immediately feel a sense of distrust and that kills me.

I hate smoke shops. There’s nothing worst than having to go into a smoke shop asking for a “bubble” or “love buddy”. Because even if you state that it’s for a friend (duh) – it is known that you are smoking meth.

Last but not least –

I got tired of seeing people that I love die; figuratively and literally.

The end.

***Photo credit from another wonderful blog, https://tinybuddha.com/blog/swipe-right-on-mindfulness-apprehensive-journey-meditation/

Part of the Collective

My subconscious “woke up” last year and some things are massively more significant to me now that I’m “plugged in” to the collective of souls. It’s incredible how information has been seemingly “downloaded” to me. For instance – magnets are now significant – and I don’t completely understand why.

Colors and numbers are also extremely significant now. I love seeing 11:11 and even 3:33. People’s auras are incredibly visible to me and I can also see and feel energies around them of what I believe to be people that are no longer there.

Streets that I grew up on and that I live on now seem more significant and I’ve only recently noticed. Right now I live on Temple drive which is hugely significant as to where I’m at with my spirituality. I’ve lived on 100 east several times. I lived on 5th Ave and M street (the number 5 and letter M being highly significant to me now) at a turning point in my life as well as Carr Fork Road when my life took its most interesting turn. I’ve lived on Borax and Brass drive when I was put through the ringer and the basis of my life was being forged.

I started using things like baking soda rubbing alcohol, dawn dish soap and lemon to clean and fix everything when prior I would have just used chemical cleaning agents and not thought twice.

I started drinking tea daily when I’ve never drank tea in my life. I started praying and meditating and saying names of lost loved ones out loud to acknowledge their presence around me.

I have incorporated spices like turmeric, ginger, cayenne pepper, cinnamon and things like lemon and honey into my every day life and for almost every remedy.

I use words like “manifestations”, “energy” and “benevolent” when I never used to.

I’ve had out of body experiences where I believe I was with others as they crossed over. I knew the details of their deaths at the moment it happened without any way of me knowing it was happening.

Death has taken on a whole new meaning for me and there is no fear of it anymore. I see it as a next chapter and something that I think will be depicted differently and as a part of life – in the future.

I have forethought about things that happen in the world such as earthquakes and fires and I feel emotions and feelings that are not seemingly my own.

I started caring about the planet on a level that I never have before and things like plastic water bottles became an issue in my mind that I can no longer contribute to.

I’ve known things about people without them telling me out loud and I have massive intuition and premonition.

I’ve been able to see a different perspective on things that used to be very clear cut or black and white. I absolutely disagree with war and killing for any reason and have a new found compassion and respect for all of humanity as well as creatures of the earth. I feel a deep connection that I never realized before.

Politics and government make me very uneasy but I can see a way brighter future coming sooner than you think.

I can see that the generations to come will rebuild politics and they will use compassion to solve the world’s problems and also heal the earth. They will completely redesign every facet of their lives to be better in tuned with their creator, with each other and with the earth.

I’ve been able to kick old habits that no longer served me as well as get my personal life into better balance than it’s ever been before. I am beyond grateful for being here at this time and for everything in my life – even the hard times.

I see social media as a blessing and a curse and I am aware that “control” is a factor in all of technology.

I have been able to let go of fear. Monsters, demons and the darkness lost their ability to scare and control me when I realized that I am more powerful than they are and that if I live and vibrate at a higher energy level than they can’t get near me. So now here I sit in the dark no longer afraid – because I realized  – that I AM the light.

All of these things have come into my mind within the last year and I see that they have come to so many other people as well and I just don’t believe in coincidences anymore. But I do believe in synchronicity and my life is abundant in that, and so many other things.

A lot has changed. Everything has changed. And I thank God for that every single day.

 

** Photo Credit: https://medium.com/@joshuashawnmichaelhehe/psyche-9df73ebda088

 

Imaginary Lines

It’s bad enough that we, as in humanity, have drawn imaginary lines that separate and label us and that they are used to pass judgement, create stereotypes and even start wars – but in this day and age to even consider putting up actual walls to separate us even further – seems like regression.

Is this the kind of world that god intended? That’s what I find myself asking myself. And if not, maybe we should consider getting closer to that idea as opposed to getting further and further away from it.

It’s not compassionate nor humanitarian to group all people from one region into one or even two specific types. There are good, bad and indifferent everywhere you go and it’s probably roughly the same percentage rate across the board.

I’m not sure why all the scare tactics and propaganda are necessary right now but I would assume it’s to either lead us into a war or to divert our attention from what’s really going on in the world.

Either way it makes my heart hurt. Things that are meant to divide us are doing just that. Creating sides and opposition and fighting. And for what, honestly?

I see how widespread panic has been initiated and I see where people are buying in to the “We’re the greatest and we must protect our freedom” stuff that is going around… but what are you really afraid of and who do we need to be better than?

They say ‘veterans over refugees’ and where the hell did that come from? I would wager that if we build a wall… all of the veterans won’t magically be taken care of in every way. As a matter of fact – with the government shut down over the matter, our country is already suffering losses on our own soil.

There’s a better way to handle “border security” without walls. Handle it like when the immigrants first came to this country to settle it. I understand that it looks scary to see a large group of people headed towards the country wanting refuge and you may see criminals – but I see mothers and fathers willing to travel the world over to try and make a better life for their children.

It has been presented that everyone in Mexico that wants to come here is a sex trafficking drug lord. Is that what people are honestly choosing to believe?? There are bad people everywhere. But most people wanting to come here are willing to work for their pay. They are not looking for handouts.

I feel people’s attention is being diverted from the real problems of the world. We should start a go fund me for global warming (which is NOT a “hoax” and IS relevant) and start being concerned over the resources of the WORLD and stop acting elitist and better than everyone, because we aren’t doing anything better than anyone, plus that’s not even what matters for our survival.

We’re all humans and I believe that compassion and caring is the key to our future. Not borders and walls.

Plus, the main threat to ourselves – is truly ourselves, not anyone else.

 

 

**Photo Credit: http://www.gulin.world/on-imaginary-lines.html

World Without Borders – http://www.coutoart.com

“Borders Are Imaginary Lines, People Are Flesh and Bone”

Mixed Messages

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How can we say “Don’t be a bully” and “Don’t be a sissy” in the same breathe?

I hear stories on the news and Facebook – of bullying. I see parents reacting by saying things like “I’d kick that bully kids ass”… umm… ? I’m so confused.

Am I the only one who thinks we are sending our children and everyone else mixed messages?

Suicide and drug overdoses are at an all time high and we are still ok with thinking offensive things are funny and sharing things that encourage hate and violence and yet I don’t think some people even realize that they are doing it.

Either we are accepting of the fact that it’s ok to be different, have emotions and feelings and to reach out and ask for help if we are struggling… or we aren’t.

I just saw a post that was a complaint form, like one you would turn in if you worked for a large company but I believe it was for the Army. It’s one thing to be willingly going into the military and expecting drill sergeant mentality, belittling and degrading and it’s another to just be trying to get through day to day life when you’re suffering.

What I gathered from this post was that it was for someone who was complaining because they have “hurt feelings”. Obviously poking fun and belittling anyone who has an issue and has the nerve to say something about it.

In this day and age of #metoo and all of the depressed youth considering suicide as a better option than speaking out when they have “hurt feelings” it wouldn’t surprise me as to why they wouldn’t want to speak up and speak out.

I was saddened by the post and what it insinuated. But of course I was. I am different than I used to be… my whole life I have made fun of everything and everyone and I honestly now feel terrible about it.

I’m not offended by the post, please take note at the difference. People can say what they want. I was SADDENED at how conflicting these things that people say and share are from what they claim they actually stand for.

People reacted by sharing this post and putting the “thumbs up” and “laughing face” emoji. I just wonder if these are the same people claiming to care about stopping bullying and then suggesting we “kick asses” when one kid bullies another. I’m not sure how that is the answer…

I do feel that there is actually a solution. Raise your children to be compassionate, caring, respectful humans with no need to be offensive or cruel to other humans. Show them by being kind and understanding yourself.

I, for one, have made up my mind to change my mind about feelings and my reaction to when people have them. Especially children. Mixed messages are not helping, in my opinion. Maybe you disagree and think the heartless, demoralizing drill sergeant method – where you refer to everyone as sissys and make fun of people for having feelings is the way to go. I just feel like it is that type of kid who ends up on the news for bullying all of the other kids.

A few questions I don’t think God will ask me.

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I have often wondered if I am worthy to “cross over” when I die and what questions might I be asked about me and my life when I get there to determine worthiness.

Whether you believe in any of that or not, it’s still a great hypothetical, if nothing else.

First question I pose to you. It is made up of several questions within the same subject. Where is Jesus from; what land and area? What religion would you say he is? What political affiliation would you think he is? Do you think he was a peaceful, compassionate, caring person?

… and where I’m going with this is here: I believe that everything literally can be answered by asking the question “What would Jesus do?” I know Christians are all over that saying already and by my discernment meter, they are on the right track.

The following are my beliefs about Jesus and mine alone. If you agree, great. If not, great.

I think he would look at every single person on the planet with the exact same absolute compassion in his eyes and unconditional love in his heart. He would hug each and every one of us and probably wash all of our feet.

I DO think that whoever decided to put “God” and “Country” in the same statement was a marketing/ strategical genius. I think that way some people will confuse the laws of the commandments with the laws of the constitution.

Man made laws, to me, are so very different than Gods laws. If we were living by the latter, things would be very different… and I pray that they still will be at some point.

We the people, by the people are the ones who were given free will. What we have chosen as a society says a lot about how far we’ve gotten away from the basics we were given in the beginning. There’s been liberties, interpretation and perception all over the place.

So back to when I die… My assumption is that I actually won’t be asked anything. Indeed, I believe, He who I stand before will already know the story in my heart. And The One and only One who should judge me, will.

If I was asked questions, my bet is that the questions will not be along the lines of “Are you Republican, Democrat or Liberal?” “What country is the greatest?” “How many firearms do you own?” “Who was the best president?” “How much money did you make?” These are all human things – not spiritual things.

I do believe it will matter how I loved myself and others. If I was compassionate and non judgmental. If I took care of the Earth (his greatest gift to us besides free will, I believe) and if I contributed more than I took. If I learned from my mistakes and strived to do better…

What we focus on becomes our reality… so I try not to focus on any of the human things – because those are all things that man has decided to separate and judge ourselves by. And if that’s how you make judgements – that’s up to you. I’m trying to remain focused on The One, not the many.

So today and every day I am trying to be a better human and to be worthy. To love myself, love my creator, love the earth and also love all of you!! And I do.

My ultimate goal for myself is death of ego and pride and to not be so selfish and wasteful. Also, to look at every other human with compassion and care and not in judgement and bias. Because… what would Jesus do??

The Demon Egg (Part 4 – the end)

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The clock on the nightstand read 4:02 am. Miraculously I had woken up screaming without making any sound, so I hadn’t woken Lee up. I noticed quickly that I had been sleeping with the egg in my hand and I was gripping it tightly.

As a habit I always checked the security cameras downstairs. The monitor for them was on the nightstand where I sat the egg after releasing it from my grip. Just as I looked up at the monitor I saw a dark figure walking through my kitchen.

Everything about what happened next makes zero sense. Never would I ever go to check on something scary myself. I always woke Lee up so the he could go check it out. Instead, not only did I not wake him up, I got up and walked downstairs in the dark to see who or what it was that I had just seen on the cameras.

Immediately I noticed that nobody was there. I did see headlights shining into the kitchen window from our driveway and I wondered who on earth was up, in the driveway, with headlights on at 4 am.

I opened the back door and noticed the lights were coming from the old truck my son had been borrowing that happened to have a massive exhaust leak and the truck was running and the windows were up. I tried to squint to see if anyone was in the truck and I couldn’t tell because the lights were in my eyes. I ran outside, no shoes, no coat, no LEE.

What had gotten into me? Regardless, as I approached the truck I noticed my son was in it slouched over, seemingly asleep with the engine running and the windows up. EXHAUST LEAK, EXHAUST LEAK, EXHAUST LEAK! My mind screamed as I struggled to open the door of the old rusty truck and when I did I yelled my son’s name and shook him furiously. Nothing.

Over and over I called his name and shook and shook and shook. After what seemed like a lifetime he finally came to, but he was groggy and confused as he’s ever been in his life.

He had come home late and forgot his key and instead of waking us up he stayed out in the truck and kept it running and “fell asleep hard”, he said, not realizing the fumes being released inside the truck running along with the windows being completely up – were a deadly combination.

He couldn’t even walk into the house by himself and I half carried him in and down to his room where I left him to sleep and I, still in shock and awe of everything that had just occurred, went into the office to try to process everything.

I watched the security video from the kitchen over and over and over again. The system was set up to record when it sensed movement. It started recording at about 4:02 am right as I was awoken from my dream. A dark woman like figure who resembled an angel with wings, some say looked pregnant even, had seemingly walked across my kitchen as if she had just come downstairs from my bedroom and was walking towards the back door where outside my son was passed out from exhaust fumes in the truck.

I had looked everywhere in the house and even around the yard. I even checked all of the other footage from the cameras and never was she seen coming or going in any other room.

I was not the only person who could see it, which baffled me to no end. Lately, in my nightmare lifestyle status, everything that I saw was mostly only visible to me.

I changed my opinion about the demon egg shortly after this. I recognized that all along I had assumed it was a scary, bad thing. What I came to believe was that it may have actually been sent to me to help me.

My oldest daughter Alisha told me a story shortly after about a television show that she had watched where a woman perceived something she saw in a creepy old mirror to be frightening and horrifying because the woman in the mirror always appeared to be screaming at her – but she couldn’t tell what she was saying. She was also covered in blood. Turns out the scary woman in the mirror ends up saving the lady who had been afraid of hers life when an intruder enters her house one night. The woman in the mirror was said to have reached out and grabbed the intruder and stopped him long enough for the woman to realize he was there and call the police. Supposedly, a true story.

True or not, it made me realize that what I see as terrifying, may very well be something that I just don’t understand yet. I changed my perception on not only the egg but on any future scary situation that arises. However, I still decided to leave the egg in the hands of my best friend for safe keeping… just in case.

He still has it to this day. I sometimes still feel the urge to go and get it from him, but then I remind myself that – that’s crazy… right?

I honestly believe that the angel woman who was somehow tied to the egg, helped save my sons life that night. Also, that the creation dream that I had that night formed the foundation for my new insight on how I see the earth and all of the inhabitants of it. I appreciate everything in life now with such a deeper understanding and to such a deeper degree. It changed everything for me.

I am truly, truly grateful for the experiences I have had. But they really have mirrored horror films at times. I’ve always thought the basis for horror films and novels must come from some place of truth, at least to some extent?

But I still don’t watch scary movies… because, why? I’m starring in one. 😉

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me! If you have made it here to this page for any reason, whether it be by chance or otherwise, then you are part of a beautiful thing happening on this planet right now that has been millions of years in the making. There is purpose in our journey. We just have to open our eyes and see what’s really happening behind all of the smoke and mirrors and false truths that we have come to accept for centuries.

Peace is possible and it is coming. We are very much part of that change. By standing together and shining our lights we create a place where darkness can no longer exist and where love, compassion and balance are the “norm”. The wheels are already in motion and all you have to do to play your part is first of all believe it to be possible and then flip that switch and turn that beautiful, brilliant light inside of you on and keep it shining for all to see.

Please don’t wait to see the change… be the change.

My writings are many things… personal, opinions, random, meaningful to me and sometimes it’s just me sharing humorous things to keep us all connected in this crazy place we call “earth”. I will fact check when I can but please feel free to do so and correct me if I am wrong but please remember this is mostly opinion, perception and observation. Not meant to stand up in a court of law by any means 😉 So please just take it at face value. Nothing is meant to be offensive and please if you find yourself being offended… first of all please ask yourself why. Maybe take a step back and realize that there are so many different sides to a story and so many views of the same sun, moon and stars, depending on from where you stand. After that please feel free to not read it if you are still offended. I am highly opinionated and rarely mince words about things but I am also extremely open to new ideas and suggestions and I know what it means to turn that knob in your brain to be able to accept things in a new light.

Compassion, love, light and balance matter the most. I urge people to not think of why they dislike someone or something. Instead, regardless of the who, what, when, why or how – send light and love in it’s direction and fill it up with love and compassion and see what a difference that makes for your own personal happiness.

I love you all and I am so grateful to be here on this planet at this time in history. Benevolent times and wondrous things are in our very near future. How exciting to be part of it.

 

“Feed the mind good wisdom, the body good nutrition, the soul good vibes, and the heart good love. Elevation for your situation.”
― T.F. Hodge, From Within I Rise: Spiritual Triumph Over Death and Conscious Encounters with “The Divine Presence”

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