Confidence is Key

I’m going to credit the basis of this message to Amy Schumer and a movie she did called “I Feel Pretty.” It absolutely floored me with a simple concept that I’ve known all along but haven’t been able to apply properly yet due to insecurities and self doubt.

And the concept is this: that confidence is the key. Not ego, pride and cockiness, but just pure self love and confidence.

This not only applies to relationships but it also helps in every day life.

In the movie she is slightly overweight and awkward and so she doesn’t assert herself or expect people to like her or be able to love her.

Let’s just say she gets a bump on the head of sorts and suddenly views herself as skinnier, prettier and more confident. Nothing about her actually changed… except her brain.

It tricked her into seeing a more beautiful, confident person and so she started dressing like it and acting like it. She suddenly has a love interest and a cool new job and the only issue here is she gets carried away and becomes a total self centered jerk.

So up until that point, I received a message loud and clear. Our perception of ourselves is so skewed and tarnished by outside factors like the media and trying to live up to other people’s standards that we lose self worth and confidence and it inhibits us in every area of our lives.

At least, mine has.

If we could just stop trying to measure up and just learn to embrace the beauty of whatever it is that we already are, true happiness and healthy relationships could be our reality.

I’ve seen every level of person get cheated on and left. Everyone from Beyonce to Jennifer Aniston. I’ve been left shaking my head going, “Who would cheat on them?”

But honestly, I don’t know these people. I just know they are beautiful, seemingly perfect, rich and have a lot to offer… and yet, to someone – they felt as if they weren’t enough.

So that says to me that no matter how perfect you are or achieve to be – to someone it may never be enough.

Which brings me back to confidence. if you can find a healthy level of confidence within yourself then not only will you be more attractive to others but you will also be more mentally prepared if someone else isn’t ready to accept and love you for who you are.

Because honestly, if they don’t, it’s on them. Plus, the less confident you are the more you will question whether you deserve that love. Or that job. Or that happy life.

If you believe it, you can achieve it. So believe it.

Photo Credit: https://teefury.com/products/confidence-is-key-hoodie?variant=1037764198412

Awakened vs Asleep

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What does it mean to be consciously “awakened?” And how do you know if you’re “awake” or “asleep?”

It honestly means different things to different people because we all experience a different version of something that happens to change our perception of the world, ourselves and others.

There are a few key things that come to my mind to differentiate between an awakened, or awakening, person and one who is still “sleeping.”

Sleepers focus on the 3D “matrix” world problems and are usually concerned with things like local and national “news,” politics, politicians, patriotism, country, illegals and protecting their gun rights.

They are actually quite comfortable being “controlled” by the 3d matrix governments and people who pull the strings behind the scenes because it’s what they know and are used to.

They believe that their generations are better than any others and that the newest generations are weak and lazy. They hold on to their ways and speak down about others that they do not understand.

They blame parents for not “kicking enough ass,” when what they don’t realize is that there is a reason for the newest generations and that they are super important, just as good AND – will eventually save the world.

Unfortunately, they do believe and/or feel that a war is at hand – but they are confused, usually by the media, about who (or what) it is we are truly at war with.

When you awaken, all of those things usually fall away because something in your heart softens and something in your mind switches on.

Peace, love, compassion, understanding and concern for things like the environment and animals.

Suddenly you may become concerned with one time use plastics and the ocean and you feel a common link with all of humanity. You may even become compassionate and realize that all other people are humans, (teehee) too, and that we all deserve a life of safety, “freedom” and plenitude of good food and clean water.

You become hyper aware of what you’re putting in your body and you start craving less sugar and processed food and more of organic, natural food.

You start reconsidering your career path and also weighing the options of the people and places you surround yourself with and put yourself in because the “energy” of it all affects you.

Synchronicities become almost ridiculous. Almost as if they are just showing off.

You may feel a spike in your intuition and even feel “psychic” at times.

You may notice that you can see and/or feel other dimensions around you and you become like the ghost whisperer.

Dreams may become vivid, maybe lucid and sometimes super strange.

You may start to feel more spiritual and reconsider your concept of God and religion.

Maybe you get a massive alien vibe and realize how connected we are to the stars. Then you may stand outside and wait for your alien friends to come and get you… maybe that’s just me.

Please do not get this twisted though… awakened people have a purpose and so do the sleepers. Awakened people must still coordinate to the best of our ability with the 3D matrix and sleepers until something massive changes and either wakes them all up, or…?

If you start hearing things like, “the collective,” “the light,” “warrior,” “star seed” or anything pertaining to these words or subjects, you’re probably in the middle of your awakening.

And if you don’t, then you may be one of the people who are asleep and you will only awaken when you are darned good and ready!!

Picture Credit: https://higherdensity.wordpress.com/2017/06/15/the-49-symptoms-of-spiritual-awakening-by-life-coach-code-6-15-17/

Rest In Peace Parker

I just wanted to take a second and acknowledge one of my good friends who left this world recently.

I met Parker around 2009 when he was just a youngen. Hell, he’s still a youngen. He would have been 27 this June.

He had an accident a few years back when he fell off a roof that left him in a coma and with brain issues, and we weren’t sure he was going to make it. He pulled through and it truly was a miracle.

However, after that he was always followed by the darkness. He eventually succumbed and it finally took him.

I hope he knows how much he is going to be missed, even though he didn’t think so. And even though I wasn’t there when he left – I hope he knows that I am with him now and forever.

Praying for his friends and family, also, who are feeling this loss so deeply in their hearts.

I pray that Parker is now set free from all of the darkness that walked with him while he was on this earth. Because no matter what, he was a light and a beautiful soul and still is.

I love you Peter Parker. You always got a place in my heart.

Therapy

This one’s going to be rough, excuse me while I use my blog as more of a “therapy” instrument than usual.

We’re coming up on some big numbers for me. I just passed the 1 year mark of me choosing sobriety – again – and I’ve done really, really well… minus one bump in the road.

Regardless of the bump, I’ve decided not to discount the days sober over the mess up because that’s not right. I’m giving myself credit where it is due. And for an addict – every second counts.

My youngest son turns 20 on the 9th of April, so that’s a big deal. All of my children are going to be in their 20’s. Life is extraordinary.

The 15th of April would mark the 20th wedding anniversary for Lee and me… had we stayed married. He divorced me in 2013 when I was in prison and that was probably one of the saddest things in my life.

We are dating again and when I tell people, they always smile and say things like, “I love that story!” or “Good for you guys!

But it hurts my heart every single time. Which is why, if I don’t feel like explaining, I just call him “husband” and he calls me “wife.” He doesn’t like to discuss the married, not married thing and says, “We might as well be.” I say, “Sure, sure.”

Does it matter in the scheme of things? The IRS says yes. God says yes, according to some sources. But these days the answer is usually no. I’ll let you decide for yourself.

It’s also the anniversary of the day that I believe I was with a young man in spirit when he died and crossed over. It is something that will never leave me. I count that as my near death experience because not only did I think I was dying but I believe that I experienced what it feels like to take the first step into “heaven” and also let go of the weight of the world to do so.

Speaking of weight, I feel as though I just let go of some and feel better.

I convinced Lee to do a 6 week challenge with me through crossfit and we started yesterday so maybe the word “weight” won’t be so touchy for me soon… maybe.

And, oh my, what bizarre dreams and visions I’ve had lately! I see a black hole when I close my eyes recently, that sometimes turns red… there’s a meaning, metaphor or something in that as well.

So, what do I owe you? And, thank you doctor. 😉

Photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/clouds-country-dawn-dock-533953/

My true identity

I poured a cup of tea and spoke my intentions of the day into it and drank it up. I had bought some bath salt with pink Himalayan salt in it a few days ago and it called to me.

I got in the bath tub and instantly started hearing encouraging words and revelations in my head. I felt that the movements I was making went beyond this physical realm. When I washed my face and body I felt that I was cleansing away a days worth of cosmic dust.

I then dried off and went upstairs to an empty bedroom where I opened the window and the screen and lay on the bed in my towel with the sun directly on my face.

When I closed my eyes I saw the colors of the rainbow and when I opened them I saw the most beautiful, pure and angelic light. It was so pure that it almost moved me to tears.

“It is so beautiful” I thought. And a voice in my head spoke and said, “What if I told you, that the beautiful light… is you?”

I was moved and grateful to have experienced this and my connection with the other side felt absolute and true.

My higher self let me know that I no longer need to search for my true identity. That it is not necessary for me to know who I am in any other realm in order for me to do my work here on earth.

But I do know this: I have the wings of an eagle and the face of an angel and I. Am. Light.

20 Tips for the Newly Awakened

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To those who are just now coming on-line to the light and the love that is:

I realize that many individuals are starting to see, think and feel different from before. I have a few tips and tricks to help guide you through the process.

1 – When you see numbers such as 1:11, 11:11, or even 3:33 a lot – it is low key a message from your higher self, angels and ancestors. You don’t need to know what it means, although you can look deeper into it, but just know that you are being loved and guided every step of your journey.

2 – Watch a few movies like “Star Wars” and “The Matrix” to get just a feel of what is going on here.

3 – Realize that you don’t live in the world that you thought you did and that unlearning your whole education and starting over might be helpful. 😁

4 – If you feel yourself awakening – you more than likely will go through the “dark night of the soul,” which can be horrifying and real life scary but ultimately you will come through it stronger and more resilient than ever. (Dark night of the soul is basically you fighting your own demons and clearing you and your ancestors akashic records, which is awesome, by the way!, it lasts different amounts of time for different people)

5 – Realize that you are not alone… like, literally, ever. But it’s not scary or weird. The other dimensions that are constantly around you that consist of all kinds of energies can’t see you naked or anything, they just see your energy outline in a color of light that is your “aura.”

6 – Get used to “downloads” of information. Usually while you sleep or are in the shower. If you meditate, prepare for some serious connections and answers.

7 – Don’t try to figure it all out because it’ll drive you mad. You’re going to get pieces of so many puzzles and most of them don’t even go together but it doesn’t matter. Just hold on to them and stay strong, light and positive. They will all come together when they should. (Throw linear time out the proverbial window 😉)

8 – The main objective is love. Self love first, love for earth and other beings and creatures second. Third, love for everything else. Literally all love, all the time.

9 – Learn how to clean your energy and your space. So many different methods but a few are: burning sage, opening windows and doors and with rocks and crystals. I’m to the point where I can walk in any room and close my eyes and think of an energy “sonic boom!” And the whole place is cleared for me for a decent amount of time.

10 – Look for like minded groups about awakening, enlightenment, kundalini, ascension, star seeds, light workers, pleadians, lemurians, etc., and people having to do with all of that, on social media and follow them. You’ll learn a lot really fast. But remember, everyone’s awakening journey is different, so just take it for what it is worth. Apply what you like and discard what you don’t need.

11 – We create our own reality, so the more positivity, love, light, rainbows and butterflies you can throw at us, the better.

12 – Turn off the fake news and anything that brings your vibration down or makes you feel heavy. Also eat foods with that same thing in mind. Keep it light and light. Everything is energy and what you eat or pay attention to… you are.

13 – Realize muggles, who are not enlightened, nor do they want to be, are everywhere. You can spot them by their obsession with matrix issues such as politics, government and judgement. Love them, too, but don’t try to change their mind or convince them that matrix things don’t matter. They will find all of that out when they are ready. Just love them.

14 – Learn what true self care is and apply it to your life in every way possible. Stay hydrated, eat well and sleep as much as your body requires that is possible for your life.

15 – Understand that the universe and your higher self are in charge now and they may force things on you or away from you that you don’t understand at the time, but learn to trust the process. They know the ending and they know the road it takes to get there. Even if it’s rocky, it’s the best route for you on your journey and the best lessons will be learned and the best life will be experienced. So if they push a loved one away, or if somehow your job isn’t suiting you anymore and you all of the sudden have the desire to make changes in your life, don’t be afraid of change and don’t be afraid to fail. Because there is no fail. Only less regrets and more lessons learned.

16 – Yes, the universe wants you to clean up the planet. It’s true. Your sudden interest in getting rid of single use plastics and being concerned about waste management has a deeper purpose than you can even comprehend. So please, please, please do your part to reuse, recycle and waste not, want not. Gaia needs you desperately.

17 – Understand that what you whole heartedly believe today may not make sense tomorrow. It’s a continuous roller coaster of a learning experience. Understand that knowledge is infinite and just keeping an open mind and an open heart will go a long way.

18 – There is no longer “right” and “wrong”. That’s an ego thing that doesn’t matter. It is or it isn’t for each individual. And that may change tomorrow…

19 – Some people will feel the change. Some will see it. Some will know it. Any combination of those or all of the above, works. Just know that love, light and compassion will soon reign where darkness, greed and power have stood for too long.

20 – To summarize: Learn to manifest your best reality, love yourself, the earth and others and hold the light. And that’s how we create the future of prosperity and compassion for future generations.

Please learn to discern any information you come across because that will be your biggest ally. Also, feel free to ask me, or someone you trust who is going through this, about literally ANYTHING. Nothing is too weird or cooky for me.

There are books and websites and podcasts and feeds on all of this. Too much information, really. Don’t get lost in it all… or do.

I finally found answers with Victor Oddo, who helps guide you through the ascension process, and Lee Carroll, who channels “Kryon”. I would highly suggest either of them as resources for information.

Love, light and balance to you all. I truly love all of you and I’m so grateful to be here, right now.

Photo credit and information on how to read the Akashic records:

How to Read the Akashic Records and Heal Your Soul?

Dreams of Nibiru

I was instantly relieved to know that I was not of this planet earth but instead, stationed here for a purpose.

Everything became clear including gravity, history, dinosaurs, energy, magnets, polarity…

I saw myself in a mirror that was facing the sun and my face became half angel and half demon and there was no sign of my real face any longer. The demon was beyond frightening and the angel was beyond beautiful. And somehow both of these creatures resided within me.

However, I knew that something huge was coming soon to meld the duality of it all and that there was nothing anyone here could do to stop it.

The lies and cover ups ran so deep that it blew my mind every which way. I was understanding of the fear that the ones who knew had of widespread panic. I also felt the pain of every unknowing soul on this planet of its impending doom, who were attempting to live out their lives of pure deception.

I saw the day the alarm was finally sounded by someone who did it for the fame. It didn’t matter anyways, it was in vane, because it was already too late.

They can build bunkers and spaceships to attempt to hide from fate, but “resistance is futile” and the gravitational pull coming won’t spare the elite.

The prophecy of 2 suns in the sky was being fulfilled to the best of the ancients knowledge at the time. But Nibiru isn’t a sun, it is the 9th planet.

Planet X is approximately 5 times larger than earth and only passes by every 15,000 – 20,000 years.

The effect that its passing would have would change north to south, east to west and land masses will be changed dramatically, to say the least. There would be 3 dark days due to planet X passing in front of the sun on its epic journey.

There was no fear in my heart at the knowledge of this event. It actually lightened my spirit to know the truth and my purpose. Part of my job was to raise consciousness levels and awaken sleeping souls.

I awoke with peace and understanding at a possibility that resounded in my spirit.

Dreams are a trip 😉

**Photo credit: Slaveplanet.net