I’m going to credit the basis of this message to Amy Schumer and a movie she did called “I Feel Pretty.” It absolutely floored me with a simple concept that I’ve known all along but haven’t been able to apply properly yet due to insecurities and self doubt.
And the concept is this: that confidence is the key. Not ego, pride and cockiness, but just pure self love and confidence.
This not only applies to relationships but it also helps in every day life.
In the movie she is slightly overweight and awkward and so she doesn’t assert herself or expect people to like her or be able to love her.
Let’s just say she gets a bump on the head of sorts and suddenly views herself as skinnier, prettier and more confident. Nothing about her actually changed… except her brain.
It tricked her into seeing a more beautiful, confident person and so she started dressing like it and acting like it. She suddenly has a love interest and a cool new job and the only issue here is she gets carried away and becomes a total self centered jerk.
So up until that point, I received a message loud and clear. Our perception of ourselves is so skewed and tarnished by outside factors like the media and trying to live up to other people’s standards that we lose self worth and confidence and it inhibits us in every area of our lives.
At least, mine has.
If we could just stop trying to measure up and just learn to embrace the beauty of whatever it is that we already are, true happiness and healthy relationships could be our reality.
I’ve seen every level of person get cheated on and left. Everyone from Beyonce to Jennifer Aniston. I’ve been left shaking my head going, “Who would cheat on them?”
But honestly, I don’t know these people. I just know they are beautiful, seemingly perfect, rich and have a lot to offer… and yet, to someone – they felt as if they weren’t enough.
So that says to me that no matter how perfect you are or achieve to be – to someone it may never be enough.
Which brings me back to confidence. if you can find a healthy level of confidence within yourself then not only will you be more attractive to others but you will also be more mentally prepared if someone else isn’t ready to accept and love you for who you are.
Because honestly, if they don’t, it’s on them. Plus, the less confident you are the more you will question whether you deserve that love. Or that job. Or that happy life.
If you believe it, you can achieve it. So believe it.